Wasted Opportunities (This post looked longer when I wrote it by hand)

WIth just two sleeps and one day of programming in between my departure from this training school I'm starting to feel disappointed and regretful. Disappointed in my horrible performance and regretful that I didn't prepare myself at all. I'm really getting what I deserve (for once). Perhaps this could be a pivotal point for me, a moment where I realise that I should seek to extend myself when I'm not busy instead of just wasting my time staring at walls (usually of the Facebook kind). However, to say all this would be extremely unfair on my state of mind pre-camp.

Despite how free I've been this year, I felt extremely stressed for most of it. I dont know where this comes from which definitely doesn't help me in regards to trying to kill this at the root. Luckily I have this camp to help inject some much needed desire and devotion back into me.

It's weird though, I really didn't have much of an interest in Informatics this year. If not for the past week + 2 days I think it might have stayed that way. And now that I think coding is really cool (again) all I want to do is sit in my room all summer and tap away. The only problem with that is I will a) burn out within a few weeks and b) neglect my friends (among other things). I'd like to be able to solve this dilemma by just organising and utilising my time more effectively but I'm not sure how that would go - time management isn't exactly my strong suit. However, with VCE coming up next year, I guess now would would be a good time to develop this skill. Actually, I don't really have a choice, now is the only time; I'm going to be way to busy next year to try pick up any new skills. Hopefully my 'I can do anything' attitude will help me achieve this important goal.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about next year. On one hand life is really starting to 'pick up momentum' (theme for Year 10s moving into Year 11) as I'll be taking (hopefully) exciting, interesting and stimulating classes, music will begin to get more serious, I'll have photography as something to explore, I'll be a senior in the Victorian Under 17s (lacrosse) and will also be in the running for a place on the Aussie U19 squad and I might be starting a new programming club and possibly be taking a first year university computing course. On the other hand I'll have to step up and respond to all these things. Will I drown under this torrent of... activities? I hope not. I really do.

I'm going to be busy, real busy. Hopefully I can cope with it all and not only get lots of out if but be enjoying it every step of the way.

Fingers crossed.

Butters.

(This looked way longer on paper)